Technorati Profile Hot Cup of Java.......: A visit from (we'll call him Austin)

Thursday, March 03, 2005

A visit from (we'll call him Austin)

Today was like any other, a little boring and a little discouraging. In fact it was down right drab. I was looking for new job leads drinking some coffee and debating on laundry. Then I heard the truck engine. "I wonder if someone is here at this time of day" I looked out the door and OMG it's Austin! My ex co-worker brought Austin by! I raced to the truck to find him with a very slight grin on his handsome face. His eyes were just as beautiful as always. He has big brown romantic looking honest eyes. Probably the purist of all souls in the world. Oh, but he has wisdom we will never possess. As I assisted him out of the truck I said "Austin, how I've missed you." You see, unlike others in his life, I speak direct and honest with him. The way friends do. He is my friend.....Make that my best friend. Austin reached for my hand (that interaction "they" think he doesn't partake in) as we assisted him (only for safety reasons) up the stairs. My co-worker was almost a little jealous of the fuss I made over my best friend --but he understood. I'm a true advocate for Austin as I would fight till the bloody death for him. I wish to be at a team meeting for him one of these days..I'd begin by saying "who here is not on payroll , raise your hand" then I would look up at mine being the only one and continue on with "Let me begin by saying Austin moves mountains everyday ......." Of course I would also lay down the rule that there will be no talk about him without addressing him and involving him in his own plan.

Austin is moved around forcefully from point a to b without concern for his own will. He is never asked nor is he ever in charge of his routine. Choices that are clearly his right are not allowed him. A lot of people never take the time to understand his needs that he works so hard on trying to communicate. Its truly not hard to understand what he communicates, in fact he has a wonderful sense of humor they just don't see. He thinks they are crazy. I know he is right. He is their source of income. Kind of hard for greedy slobs to allow him to grow. Austin is so extremely capable. There is nothing he doesn't take in. He is aware of the finest details we all miss. Austin I believe is an artist. They never let me get a glob of clay in his hands due to rules agendas etc.

When Austin was a lil boy he was sent to institution for the criminally insane where he was neglected at times and abused at times. I think his mom died and his father left. There was an aunt I heard but she died too. While he was at this "home" his family was discouraged to see him anyways with the excuse it would disrupt treatment. Austin had no nurturing, no family, no love, and no education. Yet Austin did tremendously well compared to how I would probably do. He remained untainted and beautiful. Austin is on the outside now after years of captivity and abuse. Things are much better and we have to be very careful in how we handle legalities. You see, his medical needs and all the basics (almost all)are met. He has an income as well so long as he is made to comply. So that is where the leading around comes in.

Austin walked on his own to the couch and chose to sit there. The kids came out to welcome him. They seen the beauty I talked so much about. At one point after studying and memorizing the room and everything in it, he looked at my son as if to size him up. We all shared a soul filled laugh. Austin expresses himself well especially through body language. We all drank some orange soda pop. Austin turned to me and looked in the eyes as if to say "why did you leave me?" his bottom lip stuck out for just split second or two........ I didn't lie to him, I told him the truth. He began to communicate with his hands, then he relaxed as if to accept my reply. He then yawned .......I knew that meant he was relaxed and would be quite happy to stay right where he was at---a house full of love for him. I told Austin that I would always find a way in his life and would always try my best to make sure his wardrobe was kept up and he got enough to eat in his lunches (Austin lovessssssss good food) I told him " I love you, Sweetheart" I explained that the same rules limit me as well as him just not to the same degree. It was time for him to go. He knew he had to go home. He clung to my sweater and then again to the doorway ---I don't rush him for I know he needs his time. My ex co-worker was getting a little antsy though about getting back. So I encouraged him to transition. I showed him with my foot that if he stepped out of the doorway he wouldn't drop off a cliff ( because that is what he feels like not always comprehending depth) Austin smiled a little in the truck ---I think to make ME feel better. Austin is always looking out for someone. He is so alert so observant and protective. Off he went ......reluctantly back to that place with staff. Staff. Home staff. Not family- not pets- not friends- not loved ones-------home staff.

I think of Austin everyday...........But that isn't enough. He needs to live with a family that loves him so we can earn the right to be his family. He needs someone to argue with, to bbq with, to eat dinner with, to play and go fishing with, ........He needs a cat to pet and a dog that jumps on him...........He needs a place where he just belongs and is truly wanted............I need Austin to be free to make that choice. They can keep the income he generates. I just want Austin where he belongs. With a life of love.


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