Technorati Profile Hot Cup of Java.......: Puff Puff .............

Monday, March 14, 2005

Puff Puff .............

. Posted by Hello

Not that we should smoke, it's just that there are smokers and nonsmokers in this world. Or at least there used to be. When I started many moons ago, it was something you either did or didn't do--period. Now it's like some illegal rebellious crime or something. No one started with the intention of providing someone with second hand smoke or any other ill intent (at least I didn't)
I plan on quitting one of these days, but I won't be forced to. What makes it hard to quit is the type of people that smoke. Lets face it, if you want some good conversation or understanding--you go to the smoke hole. You certainly don't go to the healthnut store. I've found that smokers are usually the funniest, kindest, and most sociable people around. Non smokers seem to just size you up and down and get testy--quickly and often. I was a non-smoker for 4 months out of my adult life, and I remembered right away why I started to begin with. Smoking always seems to help with the tolerance of idiots and otherwise hateful people. One might think we don't have to tolerate these people, but think just 1.2 seconds longer. They are EVERYWHERE! We deal with them all the time. They serve us our food, they ring us up, they stand in line with us..........And so on and so forth.
It's hard to wring one's neck when you have an expensive cigarette in your hands. What, break my smoke on account of this schmuck? Oh hell no. You see? Smoking can lower the crime rate in many instances.
In all seriousness though, we don't need to share our smoke with unwilling participants--regardless. Just as we don't want them force feeding us their little debbies. (one sounds good right now, however)
An area designated for smoking is usually far enough away to keep the air clean for all. It shouldn't be part of the same room unless there is an awesome air purifier or ventilation thingamabopper.

Speaking of not sharing.........
I believe people who stink like a dead frog, smothered in dirty sox, and sour beans smeared on a tin roof in 100 + degree weather, should stay away from everyone. These people have to know they are rank. If you don't know that after you go a week of sweating and whatevering without bathing that you stink, then- here YOU STINK. If such a person approaches society for any reason it should be our right as individuals wanting to live, to slaughter them legally (from afar) There is no excuse at all whatsoever, and I'm not a lil creampuff that doesn't understand circumstance either. I don't care if you have a home, water, money or what have you. If you have to place each foot in a five gallon bucket and splash upwards then DO IT. There is always a way even if it's to take a ho bath--or baby wipe the "importants."
People who walk around like this are not doing it by accident. They freaking mean it and are out to kill and or offend. They hate themselves and therefore hate you---we need to stop being polite. I'm not polite to rude people any more. (or any less come to think of it) Just tell them "Hey you stinking nasty bastard-you need to be shot, now get the hell away from me, I'm trying to breath" Because as you know, not breathing thru your nose doesn't work. It's like directly absorbing in your windpipe and you can taste it. You may as well lick the jackasses. The hell with that- I say we sign a petition or something. (Or light up a smoke to disguise his odor if possible)(Or puff in hopes of erasing the memory of the stench that is now burned in your brain)
*this message was inspired by the blubbery guy that tried to stand next to me at the courthouse. If he is there again --Get the bond money ready, I'll be needing it. I would have addressed this entry to him but I'm sure he doesn't get online as he wouldn't be able to share his stench with everyone via the web (yet)

Ok so here is the deal, I will keep my smoke out of your world Mr. Stinkass, and you dip your fat white ass in a stock tank of acid and chisel your funk off before you ever even think of leaving your residence (rock whatever)

Next week's topic will be tooth decay. You know you have it. Why do you stand so close when you speak? You must really think people are always ugly the way they look at you. It's because you are offensive. You are killing people...............


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