Technorati Profile Hot Cup of Java.......: Java time

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Java time

Morning hours cause the hands on my clock to spin at the speed of light. I wish I could slow down that time I have before work. Hardly enough time for my coffee (which I am brewing right now)

My new cam is on it's way and I'm so excited. I've finally given in to the digital thing. It's an HP, which, after some research, turned out to be the best of the semi-cheapys. I almost went for Fuji and considered Sony. The Olympus I wanted that comes out this month cost more than what I could justify spending. Their cheaper ones didnt seem to be priced in accordance to the mp's the provided.

I hobbled thru Wally World last night, in search of some new shoes for work. It was a desperate attempt to fight back at the pain my dogs have been putting me thru. We will see. Once you injure a foot--No shoe feels right for a long time to come. So........I went the cheap route! My heels feel like I'm walking on rocks and the rest of my foot just simply feels like its being squeezed in a vise and on fire at the same time. This esculates with each step I take. I bought shoes while my feet where still swollen. Perhaps this will help with this matter. I buprofen, vitamins, dvd, and shoes. The cashier seemed to relate.

What is up with people and instant messenging? I get offline messages that seem to be angry at the fact I haven't been online. No, in fact, they are in disbelief that I haven't been online. I don't get it. Trust me if I were avoiding you .........scratch that. I don't avoid. I would tell you the hell off if I had a problem with ya. I guess there is just so many dishonest people that they just assume everyone is like them. Many times I will get online without turning on any form of messenger knowing I won't stay on long and just need to find something out or check on something. When I finally do get on messenger I get these nutty messages asking if I'm mad or something or talking as though I was there and just not responding. Insecurety/paranoia? Whatever. A lot of times I will offline someone with a simple Hi or to wish them a happy whatever holliday. I don't worry about a response nor do I assume they must be ignoring me if I don't get one. Dear God, please don't tell me I'm that much better adjusted. lmao.

In truth, I sometimes feel that I do take things in stride better than the next guy. The things I take to heart are the things I feel that we should take to heart. Such as people in need, just Important things. I find the people that dwell on everything are the same ones who shut their blinds when the next door lady is screaming before she lands in a heap of bloody dispear. The ones that go deaf. The same ones that litter on the earth yet preach of how good they are. Their intentions are usally unpure but their focus is almost always solely on themselves and their "problems". Their problems usually turn out to be self inflicted or non existant in reality. I guess I have learned too much tolerance if that is at all possible. I don't cry about little things-I'm greatful the huge things have passed. I don't get lonely-I celebrate solitude. The past doesn't make me bitter--I see it as a toolbox. The memories are the tools in which I can select for each current situation. The sun rises and there are so many beautiful things to celebrate in this world. We choose. I forget sometimes that I live below poverty level or I work a job that can be brutal both physically and mentally. I forget that people judge me. I foget that I am getting older and fatter lol. I feel young like my life has just started. Sometimes I am so thrilled when I realised I am in fact old enough know to do this or that lol. By the same token, reality works fine for me. I just don't see it all as negative. I'm aware of the world's views on things. I realise that when a woman reaches a certain age everyone judges her as though she has done something wrong to have survived that long. "Oh, her? She is ooooooold!" It's like "how dare she breath?" lmao. I know people are for the most part KOO KOO. But ya gotta luv em. There are just so many things that I find entertaining. I guess I could be pissed off by those very same things. I feel that people don't ever share my anger when I actually am pissed off. I feel we should be passionate about the right things. I know we should get damn mad over many enraging things that most of us are indifferent to. I've found myself saying "Someone has to get pissed off enough to speak out--it may as well be me" Shame I suck at public speaking lol. But I do it anyways when needed. At least it got said. Out loud, to the face, eye to eye and to the right audience. My attitude is never "I can't, I'm scared" it's usually "I'm scared as hell but I'll do it anyways--here goes nothing lol" That is unless I'm certain it won't do any good at all whatsoever or could most definately do more harm.

The spinning clock suggest it's time to start getting ready for work.


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