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Thursday, August 04, 2005

The End of Summer


This is the time of year that is all but frightening to me. The anxiety of knowing these nice hot days will soon be replaced by the very thing that encouraged me to travel 1300 miles. Cold darkness.........Soon school begins and although my lil one loves school, I'm never in any hurry to send my bambinos off into the cold harsh world. School time represents spending of money I don't have and the loss of quality time we have together. This is hard enough without the added torment of trying to relocate due to cercumstances beyond our control.

It seems a dark, hairy ass is hovering over my world effectively blocking the therapeutic light from both the calming sun and empowering moon. It's hard to remain possitive with the roof caving in and the rug being pulled out from your otherwise firmly planted feet. Lil one and I returned home from work the other night to find two items on the door. One was a message from a friend that lil one misread and really got me wondering who wrote this and how did they get my address. After turning the business card over we realised it was an old friend who wasn't familiar with our new work schedule. Great to hear from him (and a releif to see it was friend and not foe lol). The other thing, however, did not have such a happy ending. It was a letter to inform us that our house had been sold to an evil greedy realty place. It basically said "Hi nice to meet you and hopefully you will get the hell out so we can cover this house up with vinyl siding and resell it to someone quickly before they know what hit them) This came at the worst possible time. As always we will do what we have to do--damn the luck. I could possibly put the move off but that would take us to x-mas season which is even a worse time than school start. Lil one is freaking out about having to change schools and wondering where her bus stop will be etc. They will raise the rent immediately or pester and harrass us every day until they get a big long costly list of "repairs" and if "fixing" things daily doesn't drive us off the high rent will. I don't live close to a refinery because I want to pay high rent.

NOTE* IT WAS AT THIS POINT I LOST MY POST DUE TO YET ANOTHER BROWSER....

In this neighborhood, one usually owns their home, appreciates low rent, or is willing to pay high rent in a polluted part of town because they have to. The third group is referred to as "criminals". It was scarey enough renting from the lawyer and his "property manager". The realty place is even more frightening. This house will either be sold to some unsuspecting sole who will in turn rent it out below their cost, rented out to a drug dealer who doesn't mind paying high dollar, or it will become yet another write off or insurance job. It's not clear if the former owner is still affiliated or not. What is certain is the fact that this is not some hot real estate location. This home was probably originally purchased with some small fee if any and a promise to repair etc. These type offers should be reserved for those who need them as opposed to the rich who currently take advantage of them and scam their way thru with them. Still the same---it's that time again. Time again to hear all those responses to my quest for a home. "We don't rent to those divorce type people. & So you're incomplete?" & "Oh there are children?". These remarks are usually made by women who could become incomplete their damn selves. The have no conscience at all what so ever. To those people may they find a nice married couple to rent their dumps. A nice married, violent, alcoholic, property damaging couple on welfare of all forms, complete with portable meth lab in their rented basements.
My oldest son has found work out of state --dangerous high paying work--and he has the gf he broke up with last week threatening to join him. Mid son is doing well with goals of his own--but flying from the nest more frequently than needed. Youngest son is bouncing off the walls--kicking hitting and taunting. All the while making people laugh when they don't want to. I told him if anyone needs a blog it would be him with his witty short stories and riddles. He of course responded with "thank thee mother for now a new poison has been presented unto me." Eldest daughter is feeling left out what with her responsible stability she has acquired. I'm proud of all of them. Lil'est one needs to be kept in lil one world without the worries of adult reality. It's not like I can say --Mommy is not sure where we will be or what we will have etc. I can only say, It will be ok.
During this hovering of dark hairy ass, I have become a tad ill. I think it is due to that tooth that has been bothering me on and off for 5 years. It's easy to put off things that cost half a grand or so and don't always ail you. One of these days is never "to" day. I wake up tired and I go to sleep tired. If I'm awake for more than two hours I feel my head bobbing and my eyes closing involuntarily. I'm not depressed I am not depressed. I try not to focus on the bad stuff. In fact I usually don't even acknowlege it. Sometimes it just screams for attention, much like the words in between each line in "the letter".
I would like to find a little cheap shack with a little bit of land where people would just leave us the hell alone. I need room for a cat a kid or two me and room in the yard for a little garden and a dog. One or two bedrooms would be nice but not necessary. A kitchen, dining room / eat in kitchen, bathroom and 220 for my dryer would be awesome. So long as I can make the outside stay outside I could be content. Well--good luck to us..........and to all a good blog.




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