Technorati Profile Hot Cup of Java.......: 05/01/2011 - 06/01/2011

Sunday, May 22, 2011


The final Slumber

How dare I.
Live through it all.
How dare I be after my time.
I should have left the day I fell asleep
Though I've yet to waken from this curse
There is something so empty about a child out of reach
Something ............
Nothing I feel
Nothing I taste
Nothing here in my death that I live
It's hard to explain to the living the nothing I feel
The desire to convince just isn't there
There is nothing I want nor a thing that I need
I am blind and deaf
I've seen and heard too much
More than what perhaps one is meant to
I wasn't equipped for such evils
I learned just the same
Words really mean nothing
How when there is no expectation
could the disappointment be so grand
I've let me down ...again
I can't depend on me for a thing
I'm just not there
At least not for myself in these times
I need to get up to get out
Feel some sunlight and sweat
I am paralyzed by something
A big nothing world
what actually happened?
was there a time when something was there?
When somebody cared?
I know there was
Yet somehow lost the details
The clarity..myself
On what day did it happen
Where was I...asleep
So hard to awake when you're not there
draws me in nothing
Won't let me go..myself perhaps
Strength only last for a day
Then back to all that doesn't matter
Slumber again..still..until death
Hate deficient in my world
Reason I could never relate
Birds of no alike feathers
In the skies I occupied
Is that why I retreated to the nest?
Is that why I stayed?
perhaps I never really left
Nor did I need to I yet
I can't change them or make them see
I can't save them ..not even me
It used to be they wouldn't listen
Now I'm unable to speak
I'll be awake real soon
Ready and willing
Stronger than life
I'll dare to be
despite them all
Failure to rediscover dreams
To recall if ever they were
Creation of new dreams
Dare to be Free of the Slumber
Strength of Me
I died that day
Whenever that was
I'll reinvent myself once again
I've got a few more times left
Before the final Slumber

My personal thoughts used to be a run on sentence, Now,they are nothing but (thought) fragments.


Friday, May 20, 2011

When reality is no good

The whole world is purple tonight.  I took notice to the strange sky when it was yellow about 30 minutes ago.  I sat quietly as Thumperfoot (half of the lovebat couple) lied and placed blame on Homeing pigeon.  He did this knowing I could hear him and knew the truth.  Or maybe he didn't realize.  Could it be?  I go through this all the time.  Is he really that gone, as in brain rotted? He decided to take my movie and watch it with his children running slamming and screaming about. He created darkness in a room full of active kids and blasted the TV.  So Now we are all blind and deaf.  He decided he couldn't hear so he turned it off.  Just like that.  Really?  My movie, my TV, my house.   Continuing to yell and gripe like a bitch, he finds time to groan, sigh and mutter strange sounds.  Then he yawns, burps, coughs and says excuuuuuuuse me, really loud.  He knocks the throw off my love seat (that he already broke and wore out) and places his filthy stinkin' flesh upon the bare upholstery.  I suppose in an attempt to drive me completely out of my freaking gourd and smash him.  I think that is his plan.  
Is tomorrow the end of the world?  If so, I should really kick his stupid ass out so I can spend my last day in peace.  
Now he is growling I think to be entertaining.  I think I've given enough to the undeserving.  
Baby Alyssa who is being held by Homing Pigeon 2 rooms away (an excuse not to pick up the 37 dirty plates,dishes.bowls and cups her family left to rot in various places of my wrecked house) is peeking at me with her little grin.  She knows.  She understands.  She just turned one on the 17th and she gets it.  Grandma's  baby agrees with Na Na.  She calls me "Nan" lol I was "Dwan' Ma" to the other 2.  Maybe to her too in a year or so but for now, I love my name.     
I may have to go back to the ugly world of full time work soon.  Monday even.  Perhaps I can hire a house sitter while I'm gone to insure that the place is still standing.  Can't control anything while I'm here anyways.  I could, I know what to do, but it wouldn't be nice.  I'm too tired to not be nice right now.  I'm the last one they got.  No one wants them around.  Maybe I'm tougher than I thought.  
Maybe it will be over tomorrow ;-) 

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Top dollar for Priceless things in life

It sometimes costs a lot of money for the Priceless things in life.

If I've been saving and scrimping right along, I will definitely splurge on something I absolutely love. It's worth the extra money if I know I will use/look at if everyday and make me smile, or at least make my life less stressful. I'd also consider cutting loose on some cash if it would help me create an invaluable memory.


Thursday, May 19, 2011


Level of Fitness

Sleeping white tiger
Ol Folks at home, Slow ride, and Brahm's lullaby.


Wednesday, May 18, 2011


The times I can really get it done.

Railroad watch

I get things done in the middle of the night and wee hours of the morning. I think it come from years of standing guard insuring that there was always someone awake and aware. :-)

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Hot Cup of Sweet and Creamy Java


Gotta' have my sweet and blonde java.

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Saturday, May 07, 2011

The Cat and I

We just don't know what it is these people around us think or if.  Why they would relax on our couch and watch our TV while we go without.  We don't know when we will have to stop them but it will be soon.  
They refuse to work or even hustle.  A man, yet he lays upon MY coach.  I don't understand.  The cat doesn't understand for he hunts and provides joy.  The cat and I are tired.  We have worked this whole time.  The others are sabotaging our efforts.  
The users even have a guest consumer with them.  Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  The cat and I may have to leave for ever.  
The cat and I care.
We are the only ones.  
to be continued............

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Sunday, May 01, 2011

Ok total time limit-zemanta test

I'm totally awarding myself one hour before I have to get to business.  So here I go fast playing online ;-) 
Remade from Image:Nuvola_apps_package_graphics.pngImage via WikipediaHard to break away some times. 
I also wondered if all the zemanta links I shared would share mine and the answer is no.  You have to submit your blog to them and I'm pretty sure it needs more of a theme than this one lol Tis OK.  However, I may submit my Adoptee blog instead.  I've imported a blog to this one but so far, see no sign of it other than in edit mode.
Also when you edit an old post Like I'm doing now, I notice zemanta doesn't work.  hmm.    I'm really not understanding these photo suggestions at all but it sure spices up the ol' blog lol 

American buffalo proof vertical editImage via Wikipedia
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