Technorati Profile Hot Cup of Java.......: 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005

Monday, March 28, 2005

Life without Wheels

Life without wheels is kind of like a diet of cheese. You get full of it but you never really go. Damn the highway-damn the road and damn my fake knowitall lieing wannabe mechanics. May they all get parked like my car. "She is all fixed" they say. I did make it to work and to pick up and drop off a co-worker. I made it to the highway. Then came that old familiar backfire and loss of power. But now there is a new feature to this ride: Freaking white smoke. I looked like a big hunk of dry ice on a griddle. So off I coast to make the call to the voicemail ( just in case they wonder why dinner is late). I pull in pervyland parking lot feeling like a big fat fly before hungry toads. Thank god I got it started again as I chugged my way to the next off ramp. I made the left hand turn before the semi's got me. Chug chug pop pop--I coast off again and wait. I almost made it a little closer to home but got cut off by Mary Poppins on her way to her weekly umbrella fight. That was it-- I'm dead and smoking. Smoking dead. Help arrives only to get me to the next vacant parking lot --I unpack the ride and go home leaving OLDS behind like an unloved orphan. Hours later AAA sends the knight in shining armour tow guy to take OLDS to the unspeakable. A real mechanic. A real two weeks pay most likely. That is if he is nice and cuts corners like I wish for him to do. The AAA guy was cute at least. I leave my note and my car and my keys--like I agreed, for the mechanic. Hopefully I didnt leave them for a thief. Who knows what I did? I'm home blogging and panicing that I get to work on time in the am.. I knew it was too easy. I knew things were to smooth.

I had one hell of a good time in my past life. I'm damn sure paying for it now lol. Life is still good DAMN IT!!!

I have a new co-worker from hell. She is one of those. It's been years since I have viewed someone as a target. I just wanted to tell her "Don't you know ..." nevermind. Truth is for some reason I wanted to punch her in the ear. I guess because as she talked her shit she wasn't facing me--it's like "Hello-I'm still real close to ya, Dumbass" but that is what she wants. I met one other person like her in my life --so I guess that means I will meet another one in 19 years. They enjoy pissing people off and then acting innocent. Another co-worker has got this girls number also. I imagine everywhere she goes people want to hurt her and she enjoys rationalizing as to why. Then she leaves to find a new group of people to enrage.

I enjoy my new job, however, and will not let her destroy it for me--hopefully my car will not destroy it either.

People sure tend to make themselves scarce when you don't have wheels. They are right there though when it's their car that is down. Imagine that. I've shelled out more money for rides I haven't got then I would have spent for gas in 6 months.

I'm dying to add in "on a lighter note", but I can't seem to think of anything in that category right now.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Truth is Poison .......

I feel a great confidence and peace in telling the truth despite the fact it is poison to many.
I'm not referring to some excessive garbage that need not be told nor even considered, but urgent, useful, and preventive facts.
Those who ignore it or who are angered by it should be held liable for it. One could say, "You now know."
If you are blind and deaf to the facts, you are ignorant of them by choice.
This choice should not be an option of those in authority.
If you choose to play god than play it right. Listen with an opened, unbiased mind as opposed to an empty,prejudiced mind.

It is a given value that in many types of forums, revenue and financial gain are of the only priority; this in itself is the true corruption. Protocol=which will make "us" money. This concept should and will cost in the end.

The truth persuades no one where as a deceiver/liar is skilled in the art of persuasion. They are quite practiced, and in a lot of networks, are valued for this. One armed with only the truth lacks in majority favor.

I will stand alone, unpopular, armed with only the truth...Persistently. That is the one thing that a liar will fall short of. Unfortunately, it takes time; time that is not allotted us.

I'll be watching you--and when the truth is supported by future acts --I will remember--that you at this point in time --Knew. And you chose to ignore.

Good luck in the next election.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

The Snake

"Mommy, the cat ran by me really
fast with something long hanging out of his mouth" said the lil one.
"Was it stiff or limp?" as my heart started to beat funny. "I don't
know but it wasn't a cord or anything and I know I'm staying back
here. Mommy, can a snake get under this door?"
I walked slowly and purposefully towards the living room. So far
so good. I was hoping to see a dead/dying snake that maybe I could
remove with a shovel. Of course I was ready to run if the cat still
had it in his mouth and would be running towards me to show off his
hunting skills. There it was. It was coiled up and not looking dead.
I ran like hell back into the bedroom to rethink my tactics(never
Ok so now we both are walking like we are off to see the wizard.
Good sign--he is still in the same spot as we stare trying to figure
out his condition. "We better get weapons" I say no longer even
trying to look brave. "Yes, YOU should get a weapon, Mom." lil one
says. I'm explaining the whole time how we know it's not poisonous
and it's supposedly scared of us(yeah right). Also it serves some
form of purpose like killing other gross stuff. I turn to choose my
weapon. I turn back-- It's gone. No sign--just gone. It's so not
dead. We run like the wind once again.
Needless to say, my house is now all tore up and cleaning day is
shot to hell. There it is going under the refrigerator. It's got
those yellow stripes and blotchy spots, about four feet long with a
tiny head. It's looking at me. I'm praying it gets fried under the
frige. It reappeared as I'm looking up snake killing methods online.
All I can find is dumb articles on snake away-glue-lime-sulphur and
how we shouldn't be inhumane or kill it. It's being inhumane to me as
it slithers under my chair. I jump from chair to couch to arm rest.

Ok the bastard may still be here or may have left thru the door I left
open as I ran for my life. I think the cat was wanting to kill it but
got scared himself. I don't know. I no longer care.

I just know someday I am going to be able to put my feet on the floor
and extend my legs once again. Not TOday. I have also learned that
if you arrange your furniture just so, you never have to touch the
floor at all.

I dealt with the rat much better. It at least was fuzzy and looked like
Mickey Mouse some what. This snake knows it's got rule over our activities
until it's death/capture. It never flinched in my presence nor did it
hurry along in a panic. It just slithered slowly and hatefully as if it
knew it was tormenting us.

I love Sunny. Really I do. I am going to repeat that as many times that it takes to convince myself. ;0)

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Monday, March 14, 2005

Puff Puff .............

. Posted by Hello

Not that we should smoke, it's just that there are smokers and nonsmokers in this world. Or at least there used to be. When I started many moons ago, it was something you either did or didn't do--period. Now it's like some illegal rebellious crime or something. No one started with the intention of providing someone with second hand smoke or any other ill intent (at least I didn't)
I plan on quitting one of these days, but I won't be forced to. What makes it hard to quit is the type of people that smoke. Lets face it, if you want some good conversation or understanding--you go to the smoke hole. You certainly don't go to the healthnut store. I've found that smokers are usually the funniest, kindest, and most sociable people around. Non smokers seem to just size you up and down and get testy--quickly and often. I was a non-smoker for 4 months out of my adult life, and I remembered right away why I started to begin with. Smoking always seems to help with the tolerance of idiots and otherwise hateful people. One might think we don't have to tolerate these people, but think just 1.2 seconds longer. They are EVERYWHERE! We deal with them all the time. They serve us our food, they ring us up, they stand in line with us..........And so on and so forth.
It's hard to wring one's neck when you have an expensive cigarette in your hands. What, break my smoke on account of this schmuck? Oh hell no. You see? Smoking can lower the crime rate in many instances.
In all seriousness though, we don't need to share our smoke with unwilling participants--regardless. Just as we don't want them force feeding us their little debbies. (one sounds good right now, however)
An area designated for smoking is usually far enough away to keep the air clean for all. It shouldn't be part of the same room unless there is an awesome air purifier or ventilation thingamabopper.

Speaking of not sharing.........
I believe people who stink like a dead frog, smothered in dirty sox, and sour beans smeared on a tin roof in 100 + degree weather, should stay away from everyone. These people have to know they are rank. If you don't know that after you go a week of sweating and whatevering without bathing that you stink, then- here YOU STINK. If such a person approaches society for any reason it should be our right as individuals wanting to live, to slaughter them legally (from afar) There is no excuse at all whatsoever, and I'm not a lil creampuff that doesn't understand circumstance either. I don't care if you have a home, water, money or what have you. If you have to place each foot in a five gallon bucket and splash upwards then DO IT. There is always a way even if it's to take a ho bath--or baby wipe the "importants."
People who walk around like this are not doing it by accident. They freaking mean it and are out to kill and or offend. They hate themselves and therefore hate you---we need to stop being polite. I'm not polite to rude people any more. (or any less come to think of it) Just tell them "Hey you stinking nasty bastard-you need to be shot, now get the hell away from me, I'm trying to breath" Because as you know, not breathing thru your nose doesn't work. It's like directly absorbing in your windpipe and you can taste it. You may as well lick the jackasses. The hell with that- I say we sign a petition or something. (Or light up a smoke to disguise his odor if possible)(Or puff in hopes of erasing the memory of the stench that is now burned in your brain)
*this message was inspired by the blubbery guy that tried to stand next to me at the courthouse. If he is there again --Get the bond money ready, I'll be needing it. I would have addressed this entry to him but I'm sure he doesn't get online as he wouldn't be able to share his stench with everyone via the web (yet)

Ok so here is the deal, I will keep my smoke out of your world Mr. Stinkass, and you dip your fat white ass in a stock tank of acid and chisel your funk off before you ever even think of leaving your residence (rock whatever)

Next week's topic will be tooth decay. You know you have it. Why do you stand so close when you speak? You must really think people are always ugly the way they look at you. It's because you are offensive. You are killing people...............

Boing Boing: Lame history revision - Sartre sans cigarette

Boing Boing: Lame history revision - Sartre sans cigarette: "Friday, March 11, 2005
Lame history revision - Sartre sans cigarette
Hutch says: 'Hell is other people removing your cigarette. France's National Library has airbrushed Jean-Paul Sartre's trademark cigarette out of a poster of the chain-smoking philosopher to avoid prosecution under an anti-tobacco law.' Link

UPDATE: Russ Kick says: Nov02 Johnson 'Cigarette removal has also been done to the Beatles, Courtney Love, Robert Johnson, Jackson Pollock, James Dean, and Paul Simon.

'While I'm not saddened that there are fewer public places where I have to inhale second-hand cancer, this revisionism is ridiculous. If this keeps up, it may appear as though no one in history ever smoked!'

posted by Mark Frauenfelder at 05:38:43 PM
. Posted by Hello

If that is the case I will have to dig for that Winston pic and post everywhere I can in blogland. Don't touch my cig!
. Posted by Hello

Unless you have some sort of time machine-it's unlikely you can revise the past. It's rather frightening to thinK of as this is what our history books are probably filled with already. I know people who "revise" the past --I often lovingly refer to them as "Fucking Liars". To all you "Revisors" I say Kiss my Blog.. Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 13, 2005


Today wasn't a complete waste as I read thru (ok skimmed ) 10 primers on html. I learned four things that I was able to put to use right away. I also found some really good animated gifs that were easy enough for even me to add to my templates.

Weekends just simply do not last long enough for me. Just the mention of Monday makes me want to throw something. I try to savor the last bit of tranquility I have on Sunday.

I destroyed Saturday by my visit to that dark evil dungeon called the laundromat. After loading my clothes into a 50 lb machine (have to get it over with so I can resume life), I condensed my belongings in one little, easy to monitor, area. This is the point where you try to look content somehow while waiting FOREVER on your clothes. But there is peace in knowing that it's not usually at this stage that your clothes will get ripped off. I went outside to smoke a Winston, although there was what looked to be a wildebeest smoking a cigar inside. It was there I saw the black footed, greasy, Cheetos stained fingered, snotty nosed, pygmy, runt monster. I was frightened for my clothes---myself. The monster approached me as if to erase any doubt I had of the imposing threat. The creators of this monster seem to have been put in check quite some time ago. After changing dryers twice I was told "Oh that one may not work for you Hun, it doesn't seem to heat" by a dungeon attendant. I fled the scene with my clothes intact--yet wet.......... I'm NOT going back.

My attitude after that was less than cheery as my own monsters pestered about the drying rate of there duds. I also had to rely on transportation other than my Olds (who is still sick). Another reason I left while the gettin' was good. The mechanic blew my Olds off again=another happy event.

Yep, the whole weekend is shot. It's pushing 10pm and I'm holding on to that last bit of peace I will have for another 5 days or so. The church crew is back and being annoying with their lil demands ( not to mention the sickening lil giggles from about 6 feet away)

This weekend I also started on my project in the front yard. Translation=my front yard is tore up now.

I'll be so glad when this cold from hell is gone. I feel like someone blew installation in my ear straight thru to my aching brain. Fresh air=cold polluted air.

The cat rewarded me for my efforts with a big fluffy RAT. I eventually had to sort of TOUCH the damn thing to hide it from Sunny. I know he meant well and was proud of himself, but did he really have to put it in my shoe? This was done after an hour of Sunny throwing it in the air pretending to have killed it over and OVER and over again. It was his version of an instant replay for my amusement. "Why you wonderful, big, mighty hunter, You. Why you are ever so skilled. Now lets get the disgusting thing on out of here shall we?" I had to eventually get some Kleenex and do this tail pick up action thing without Sunny witnessing. (as he found the RAT a couple times already)

So after playing a mini game of FLING THE RAT. I had a choice to do something active, creative, one that involved thought, or make some coffee and look like I was doing something productive. I opted for the coffee. Why not, the cat,one of my few allies, was mad at me now anyways.

I used to have a friend named Timmy but Alpha male's presence ran him off. That and the fact Timmy makes himself scarce when I mention GYM partner or the like. Timmy is one of those platonic friends that is only that, in hopes to prey upon me during a weak moment. I have weak moments lasting approximately 2.3 minutes and Timmy doesn't have the skill to recognize when they occur. If he ever does recognize this weakness he'd be well advised to approach during the 1.75 minute mark, as before or after this peak time, I just may click into my Idefendme/AndhereIthoughtyouweremyfriend mode. If this should happen RIP, Timmy.

This weekend I also got a gmail account that I'm quite pleased with. I feel so special with my lil invite and all. The Google boards are ok, but just as dead as many others I've seen lately. I am starting to be more fond of Google lately, however. And I no longer skip past all the sponsored links like I used to. Now I understand them and realize what they are there for. Before I'd always make sure to scroll down to the unadvertised ones that didn't insure any more credibility than the previous ones. Under dogs can suck just as bad as the guys on top. lol

So I guess to sum it up I idled this weekend. But I won't get to do that this week ahead. As always, life is good.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Blind, Deaf and full of Shit.......

It's a Sunday like any other, the dues were paid in exchange for the favors from within the network of backwashers. "Praise God!" Felona said followed by the knowing wink of a participant in an organized unit. When you are involved you get "blessed" = (when you pony up the dough it's an understanding). One gets cooperation as within many other groups, clubs, gangs and or cults. It all works out. Billy Bob gets that chair on the board--Sophie gets new clients at "The Do" and honorable judge Whatshisface gets his house painted for free. Such a happy day! After all, they can do as they please, they will be forgiven. There is no accountability nor responsibility for the actions that "the devil" made them do. They are not mighty enough to accept any blame, for they are just human.......Oh, but the credit? They are entitled to it for all those wonderful deeds they announce here on earth. Indeed it's a wonderful day. (one might say if you want your reward in heaven, then shut your bragging mouth here on earth)

Just yesterday the phone rang, it was that damn ex of her new shack-up boyfriend's,"Damn that heathen! Now what the hell does she want? I hope her son doesn't hear the phone." It was her boyfriend Frances' son's mother calling. It was an emergency call to pick up the eldest child they shared from the police station. "I'm on my way" Frances said to Felona's dismay. "Well, wait on me. Don't you dare go near Her without me, remember what we learned in church!" Felona took her sweet time applying make-up to her pitted mug. "She will see I am much prettier now that I have been justified and saved" Hours passed while the worried mother paced, dressed in sweats, no make up and anxious to get to her son. The woman's car was down yet again. Due to lack of child support for so many years, (Frances didn't believe it should be spent on living expenses so he found ways out of paying it), she barely brought in enough for the basics. "Well, Frances, I guess I am ready to go now" Felona said as she flung her purse over her bony shoulder. "She is probably exaggerating anyways, the cream puff that she is and all" Felona laughed.

The ex's name was Angel. For years Frances laughed and made fun of her honesty. Angel was not stupid but she was very naive in many ways. She still had faith in the system to a certain extent and always tried to do what she felt was right in her heart. While Frances would party and steal, Angel would work, study, stay aware, and return what she could that he had robbed. It was always a struggle to try to make up for his lack of conscience. A struggle she eventually left. In fact one of the main things that made her car "break down" was the fact she couldn't afford it to be legal. Angel would never drive under those circumstances. This was another thing Frances and Felona found to be silly and stupid as they were no strangers to criminal activity. It was their life for so many years. It is still there way of thinking. When Angel and Frances were together, common friends would refer to them as beauty and the beast. Frances deep down resented Angel yet she certainly came in handy with her little innocent already made family. Frances looked like the "family man" when he was with her. When Angel finally stood her ground saying No to all the abuse and dark ugly ways, Frances made a vow to destroy her. Angel was forgiving after time, and although she never believed in regrets, her forgiving nature was of her worst mistakes.

When the car pulled up in front of the police station, Angel swiftly got out. She took a deep breath and went inside to the window. Felona and Frances, being rather allergic to police stations and LEOs, stayed in the car ready to leave if need be as they were both felons and could possibly have a warrant or two. Angel was so angry that her son, Frances junior, had been drinking. (she had found this out from a frantic phone call from one of his friends during her long wait on her ride). Frances Jr. had been doing so well for so long. Any time there is alcohol involved it is trouble for him. Angel knew when he didn't come home for supper and there was no call --something was terribly wrong. Frances Jr. was being released to Angel , there was a paper to be signed and some time left to wait. Angel had heard a lot of screaming and yelling during her wait . The police officer, looking a little confused himself, had explained several times that France Jr. may be a little banged up through no fault of the police. Angel made up her mind that she would not scold her son nor worry about anything until she got him home and he sobered up. It would have fallen on deaf ears and nothing would have been accomplished. Frances Jr is a bright boy, and capable of great success both financially and in life itself. When he does not drink, he is athletic, a hard worker, and
he is a great inspiration to his peers He is a delight to be in the company of, extremely polite and respectful. These are qualities not surfacing on this dark ugly day. Not by him, not by those in authority.

The door opened and two police officers appeared ."Angel, it sounds like he may be giving us a little trouble back there, maybe you can calm him down so he can go home." Angel being as trusting and compliant as usual accompanied the police officers to where her son was. Sure enough she heard an adult male voice yelling"Put your shoes on, you're being released." She wondered why he wouldn't be cooperating. And what is that smacking sound anyways? She continued down the long echoing hallway with the police officers until they neared the doorway. She froze in disbelief. The two officers immediately started to explain almost in a panic "we just brought her back to calm him down." There he stood. He was a homely man, looking like a tall new born ostrich on crack with a bad crew cut. Frances was handcuffed to a bench and doubled over crying (there was no way for him to reach any shoes) "Get her the fuck out of here! No in fact you know what? Mother, you may as well go home, You're son is going to county!" he growled as he dug his big rough fingers in her arm to the point she felt tears welling up in her eyes. He towered over her like a giant. She looked straight up in his cold unmerciful eyes. He started dragging her down the hallway. Angel had no time to do anything. She was like in another world. She heard of police brutality but she had the misconception that you at least had to break the law first. Angel was frightened for herself and for what would happen to her son after she left. It was clear he believed she may have seen more than what she actually did. He was enraged at her and the two police that brought her back there. His name was officer Powatripace. Before she had a chance to get out the door Powatripace slammed it into her with all his might. At this point time stood still for Angel, it was if it was a traumatic nightmare. There was no way these were the people she admired, trusted and often advocated for. Why were the little cops letting this big viscous bully do this? Why wasn't he stopped long before this? What else has he done that made him feel at liberty to do this? The police station had become a dark dirty closet of lies in Angels trusting eyes. Everyone seemed to have scattered in Powatripace's presence. There was no one to help her nor to stand up for her. Angel knew now that all the stories, all the accusations were true. The town was too small, too unregulated, and the police were the villians. She was hurt.

Powertripace was a monster and the fact that the door didn't close all the way because of Angels body being in the way, infuriated him all the more. He grumbled something and came running behind her. She had made it only to the glass doors with one foot out. He grabbed her by the throat from behind and twisted her as he slammed her face first into the floor. Before he could execute this move (that he later claimed is because she was chubby) she screamed for help in hopes that if she died (as it were rumored that so many others had) someone would at least know what happened. Angel was kicked and molested and called names and laughed at. She was careful not to make any moves and just took her mistreatment. Angel felt like she was being attacked by muggers. Felona heard this and seen Angel being attacked. She came running in and thru her hands up when they told her to get out or go to jail. Felona was very familiar with jail so she left Angel at the mercy of this crooked hateful beast. Felona shared many laughs at the fact the woman who refused to so much as reuse a postage stamp was being injured. After all, Angel was that damn goody- two- shoes in their eyes.

Felona and Frances did make a phone call to Angels children at least but then of course just relaxed and rejoiced in the fact that maybe they could use this to paint an ugly picture of the woman who sickened them with her law abiding ways.

Angel was pushing forty, attractive, a non drinker, and getting thick in the midsection after a year of two away from her exercise routine. She had a sense of humor about everything and in no way would she ever make anyone regret meeting her. Well, that is, unless they were a monster like Powatripace. Angel never had time to get high nor did she have the desire to. She believed in facing everything good or bad--head on and clear. She found fun in most situations despite that however. (maybe because of) She had thick, blonde, curly hair and was usually smiling and or trying to make someone else smile. In fact that was her job. She worked for the state in an area of advocacy (to protect people from what had just happened to her). Now it was her and she was alone. She never learned how to stick up for herself. She knew how to protect others --it came so much easier.

After much more of the same type treatment, in came a tall handsome man in uniform. Angel had seen him before. He was married to an attractive bright-eyed principal there in town. He too always had such a peaceful, honest loving look in his eye. His name was Sgt. Strong. He was shocked to see Angel there crying with handcuffs digging into her flesh. "what are the charges?" he said as he gestured with his hands as if to ask if they were on drugs. "oh, resisting?" one of the officers said shrugging his shoulders. "well, resisting what arrest?" Strong asked. "um, uh, how about interference?" Sgt Strong took the officer back into another room. Angel wanted to plead with Strong without them hearing her rat on them. It was too late to stop what had taken place but Strong ordered the cuffs off of her. She was eventually sent back to the cell anyways but the officers were more quiet in Strong's presence.
The cell was little and dark with what looked to be blood and feces all over the walls. It wasn't like on TV Angel thought. Angel had made up her mind --"they are not getting away with this" Strong must have had to leave again because they resumed with their perverted, sick statements and threats as she remained quiet. She knew she may not make it out alive, but the fact Strong may question if she didn't was her one hope. At forty years old, she knew she had a few years left on earth---just enough time to see justice served on each and everyone one of the corrupt cops that hurt the reputation of all the good ones. Strong, amongst others Angel knew, had good intentions and did good work enforcing the law. They don't need to suffer because of a sociopathic prick like Powatripace and those who condone him. She now knew what her reason on earth was. Now she must find the means.

"Well, she got out a few hours later some how" Felona growled to Frances in front of guests. She quickly made an attempt to cover "praise God." Frances said, "I wonder how she got the money?" Frances felt as if the culprit should be "gutted" ( one of his favorite expressions). "It was probably that Marybelle woman" he said. Frances knew that Marybelle woman quite well. In fact she had helped him for years financially and emotionally. She was one of those he betrayed in his "walks with Jesus". In truth, he knew he couldn't lie to her for he knew that she knew the truth of his intentions. Frances also turned his back on a youth that he helped mold. Frances taught the lad to steal, use drugs, and view the world in a negative , pessimistic way. When the lifestyle had taken its toll on the boy, Frances turned his back claiming he was 'the devil's playmate". Frances did this to save his own image from being shown in truth. Frances was an ill intentioned hypocrite filled with hate and disloyalty. Never did a more selfish creature walk the earth. The boy, now a young adult of 18 looked very peaceful in his casket. Frances never attended to support the family nor did he even say a prayer. Frances created, then abandoned, the foundation for this circumstance. The boy was Marybelle's son.

Felona signed a statement basically claiming she was blind, deaf and full of shit on that dark dismal day. Only one third of that statement is true. "I'm just now getting my kids back, there is no way I can be subpoednaed
to court." she said adding "And I know I'm not missing any work."

to be continued.........................

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The remote...............

malesnsapulpa Posted by Hello

Yahoo! Groups : sapulpaarealovers

Yahoo! Groups : sapulpaarealovers

We are looking for new members for our Sapulpa Oklahoma e-group. It doesn't matter where you reside--Everyone is welcome. We especially need some more ladies-females-girls-women to balance things out with all the male members. See ya there.

The Evil Blog............

So much for team members .........I sent out the invite with a little explanation as to what a blog was expecting the usual enthusiasm for a new endeavor. Not this time. I got one response that went on with a million of explanations and excuses as to why they declined. Funny thing is I asked ONE question ONE time, and got "nah" "I'll have to pass" "not this time kiddo" "Is that the one where you give your name?" etc etc. You would think I was trying to persuade someone into something. I wonder who got to this person? Who has tainted their view on blogs? Please note this is an otherwise creative, smart, funny, person who enjoys writing and would be well suited for blogism.

I would have got a better response to "Come look at my new pornsite" or "Amateur chicken cluckers caught on tape-LIVE" . You would think I had invited a person to actually work or something lol.

Well, I love Blogs and Bloggers. I am pleased to say I found a few fellow Bloggers who's links I will include at a later time. Yes Johnny, that means you.

And in case you haven't figured it out, the "Today" post is written in black ---simply highlight it to read it (it was a blur remember?) lol

I have been blogging for at least a week now, and I have decided, at this point, that however informative you would like your blog to be, it is far more important for it to be interesting/entertaining. This is the internet. There are many encyclopedias and dictionaries already. We can search out the blah blah blahs everywhere online (just about). We really don't need these types of Laddy daddy da da's(that is a technical term for boringknowitallentry) here in blogland.

I will keep searching for the perfect team and/or I will joins someone else's. For now I am quite happy to blog in solitude. I shall blog alone if need be.

Monday, March 07, 2005


Today came over in a big rush. It didn't wait for me nor did it allow me any time to prepare. My eyes opened without my permission and my feet hit the floor without my say so. I moved slowly towards the coffee pot that no longer pleased me. Today left in a hurry without even staying for dinner. How rude Today was. Or was I the thoughtless one? Today must have been the one! Today took my thoughts away and left me with none. And here I thought I planned for Today and I know my intentions were to welcome today with a new spirit. But Today would simply not wait. I tried to keep up and even contribute, but it seems I only went thru the motions of unclear tasks. I have some memories but it all happened so fast. The outcomes--the achievements--yes; the yield of Today will give me the clues..... The car was sick --the mechanic came to docter--the car is still sick waiting on another part--the mechanic left with Today........Okay Dicoree came over but the phone rang and she waved a goodbye....and left with Today. The housework got done...but undone once again....still no yield. Today brought with it a fever, chills, weakness, pain, and emptiness........Today brought with it sunshine---Now it is dark. Today took alot with it--yet left ..................It cant be that it left nothing behind. Today may have left me behind or did I just let it go? Maybe I sent Today away. I needed Today for I dread Tomorrow. I dont want to remember Yesterday. I'll pay better attention to Today,Tomorrow cause I'm sure I won't want to remember it when it becomes Yesterday................. next time I

Maybe next Year I will get that damn flu shot. lol

Friday, March 04, 2005

To Blog or not to Blog

I don't understand why more people don't blog as opposed to all their cluttered and scattered webpages here and there (some of which they haven't updated in years). I guess they would rather fill IM's with their ramblings and subject people to it in real time. I think this is a much more polite way to talk and not say anything lol.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

I'd much rather be Blogging.

Ever since I started this blogging when I encounter something I don't like I now think of how I'd much rather be blogging. Or if someone pisses me off I now think of come backs like "You are so going in my blog on this one!" When something grand happens, of course it's "This is blog-worthy" lol

But in truth--------it's all blogable info. Maybe nobody will read it. It's therapeutic to just get it out there if not effective in whatever you're hoping to achieve with that same idea lol. It saves on paper that is for sure. Up with trees.

Ok so I need to get out more. What the hell else is new? For now I'm just blogging around. I read somewheres where you are not supposed to node about noding so I'm sure the same is true for blogging..........Nah! Blogging is freedom....Let freedom blog. Soon I won't have as much time for blogging so I may as well get my blog on now while I still have the chance.

I sure hope my team members will take over for awhile...................and to all, a good blog.

Okay,now I get it.........

My heart is racing, my hands were just shaking, now they kind of feel like electricity is going thru them. That question is ringing thru my brain "Aren't you scared to live so close to that plant?" Of course my answer was "Well, I never really thought of it" Ah, tonight, I thought of it.........omfg.
I heard click click.........long period of nothing ........then KABOOOOOM crackle crackle SWOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..............hisssssssssss I looked outside and all the neighbors lights are out and I see a glare like a giant is welding the edge of the earth. Now it just appears to be generator lights and steam(hopefully not some poisonous gas)......My mouth even went dry and I think my lip is stuck to my teeth. Now of course my family hates me. I of course woke up the whole house to tell them to relax but stay ready to evacuate. I also told them to get the hell away from the windows but not to worry (cause I would do that for them.) The eldest of the offspring told me "It always looks like that" YEAH RIGHT!!!! She just didn't want to get up. Ok so now I'm hearing ooooooooooooooooklahoma where the wind car ries a toxic gasssssssss.etc etc

Mine is the only house on the block with power. It is generated from my heart that is now beating in my ass. Seriously I could do without that kind of cardio activity. That was not COOL. I felt like this blog was going to be my last will of testament.

............But it's all....... in the do........ un do...............

A visit from (we'll call him Austin)

Today was like any other, a little boring and a little discouraging. In fact it was down right drab. I was looking for new job leads drinking some coffee and debating on laundry. Then I heard the truck engine. "I wonder if someone is here at this time of day" I looked out the door and OMG it's Austin! My ex co-worker brought Austin by! I raced to the truck to find him with a very slight grin on his handsome face. His eyes were just as beautiful as always. He has big brown romantic looking honest eyes. Probably the purist of all souls in the world. Oh, but he has wisdom we will never possess. As I assisted him out of the truck I said "Austin, how I've missed you." You see, unlike others in his life, I speak direct and honest with him. The way friends do. He is my friend.....Make that my best friend. Austin reached for my hand (that interaction "they" think he doesn't partake in) as we assisted him (only for safety reasons) up the stairs. My co-worker was almost a little jealous of the fuss I made over my best friend --but he understood. I'm a true advocate for Austin as I would fight till the bloody death for him. I wish to be at a team meeting for him one of these days..I'd begin by saying "who here is not on payroll , raise your hand" then I would look up at mine being the only one and continue on with "Let me begin by saying Austin moves mountains everyday ......." Of course I would also lay down the rule that there will be no talk about him without addressing him and involving him in his own plan.

Austin is moved around forcefully from point a to b without concern for his own will. He is never asked nor is he ever in charge of his routine. Choices that are clearly his right are not allowed him. A lot of people never take the time to understand his needs that he works so hard on trying to communicate. Its truly not hard to understand what he communicates, in fact he has a wonderful sense of humor they just don't see. He thinks they are crazy. I know he is right. He is their source of income. Kind of hard for greedy slobs to allow him to grow. Austin is so extremely capable. There is nothing he doesn't take in. He is aware of the finest details we all miss. Austin I believe is an artist. They never let me get a glob of clay in his hands due to rules agendas etc.

When Austin was a lil boy he was sent to institution for the criminally insane where he was neglected at times and abused at times. I think his mom died and his father left. There was an aunt I heard but she died too. While he was at this "home" his family was discouraged to see him anyways with the excuse it would disrupt treatment. Austin had no nurturing, no family, no love, and no education. Yet Austin did tremendously well compared to how I would probably do. He remained untainted and beautiful. Austin is on the outside now after years of captivity and abuse. Things are much better and we have to be very careful in how we handle legalities. You see, his medical needs and all the basics (almost all)are met. He has an income as well so long as he is made to comply. So that is where the leading around comes in.

Austin walked on his own to the couch and chose to sit there. The kids came out to welcome him. They seen the beauty I talked so much about. At one point after studying and memorizing the room and everything in it, he looked at my son as if to size him up. We all shared a soul filled laugh. Austin expresses himself well especially through body language. We all drank some orange soda pop. Austin turned to me and looked in the eyes as if to say "why did you leave me?" his bottom lip stuck out for just split second or two........ I didn't lie to him, I told him the truth. He began to communicate with his hands, then he relaxed as if to accept my reply. He then yawned .......I knew that meant he was relaxed and would be quite happy to stay right where he was at---a house full of love for him. I told Austin that I would always find a way in his life and would always try my best to make sure his wardrobe was kept up and he got enough to eat in his lunches (Austin lovessssssss good food) I told him " I love you, Sweetheart" I explained that the same rules limit me as well as him just not to the same degree. It was time for him to go. He knew he had to go home. He clung to my sweater and then again to the doorway ---I don't rush him for I know he needs his time. My ex co-worker was getting a little antsy though about getting back. So I encouraged him to transition. I showed him with my foot that if he stepped out of the doorway he wouldn't drop off a cliff ( because that is what he feels like not always comprehending depth) Austin smiled a little in the truck ---I think to make ME feel better. Austin is always looking out for someone. He is so alert so observant and protective. Off he went ......reluctantly back to that place with staff. Staff. Home staff. Not family- not pets- not friends- not loved ones-------home staff.

I think of Austin everyday...........But that isn't enough. He needs to live with a family that loves him so we can earn the right to be his family. He needs someone to argue with, to bbq with, to eat dinner with, to play and go fishing with, ........He needs a cat to pet and a dog that jumps on him...........He needs a place where he just belongs and is truly wanted............I need Austin to be free to make that choice. They can keep the income he generates. I just want Austin where he belongs. With a life of love.

Sometimes I know it IS just me.......

Does everything we do have to involve alcohol after we reach a certain age? Everytime I turn around there is someone that spoils the fun by wanting to go drinking. I know I'm the only one in my neck of the woods that doesn't drink lol. I used to think going out or on a date meant dinner movie or a quick cup of coffee but nooooooooo its lets get hammered and risk the lives of others by driving drunk. Personally a date that involves alcohol is just like suicide or worse; homicide. I guess I think of that lil baby my potential mate is going to smash on the highway cause he isn't skilled enough at life to have fun without drinking. Needless to say --I don't date. It starts off sounding good until they talk a little more. I guess they don't realize that while they are thinking of how exciting and fun they are, I'm thinking of how I am so not getting in the damn car with their selfish asses. I know that people that can only have fun by getting drunk are some boring people. I'd much rather be blogging lol.

Clear your mind once again .............

Sit down and have a cup of coffee. Spill your gutts or lie. Vent or praise. Ramble on like an idiot. This is our page. Team members only. How do you take your coffee? Strong and black? Sweet and blonde? etc etc.
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